By Sally Petty, Staff Writer
December 07, 2007 10:46 am
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Thanksgiving and Christmas can be rough after losing a son, daughter, grandchild or other loved one.
“The holidays are never the same because you’re always missing that person,” said Washington resident Mary Rose Jones, who lost her son, Andy, in a car accident almost three years ago.
She and her husband, Cecil, have been active in an Evansville chapter of a support group for bereaved parents, The Compassionate Friends. They are helping organize a memorial candlelighting and hope to start another chapter of The Compassionate Friends in Washington.
The eighth annual Children’s Memorial Candlelighting Service will be held at 3 p.m. Central time Sunday at the Children’s Angel Monument at the Vanderburgh County 4-H Center north of Evansville, just west of the intersection of U.S. 41 and Booneville-New Harmony Road.
“Since we lost Andy, this is our way of celebrating Christmas and remembering Andy,” said Mary Rose of the candlelighting ceremony.
She and Cecil invite other area families who have lost loved ones to come to the ceremony, which is meant to provide a moment of peace and remembrance away from the mainstream Christmas celebration.
It will start at the Angel Monument with a candlelighting and bagpipe music, then move to the Activities Building. If case of inclement weather, all of the ceremony will be held in the Activities Building.
“Around the holidays, people don’t want to talk about your child, but you need to talk about your child (to heal),” said Cecil. “You can walk away and feel you’ve had some connection with your child.”
The Jonses suggest those attending bring a photo of their child for the display and a flower to place on the monument.
Beyond the candlelighting ceremony, the Joneses hope to provide continued support for area parents who have lost children by starting a local support group for bereaved parents.
They have set their first meeting for the afternoon of Jan. 13 at the Fraternal Order of Police cabin, but they still need more leadership support for the group and they don’t know how many are interested in attending.
Whether the group is sponsored by The Compassionate Friends or not, the Joneses want to make sure someone will be there to lead when they can’t.
The Joneses stress that the support group is not religious; it’s meant to help anyone of any faith work through the grief of losing a child.
It’s also strictly confidential so that grieving parents can feel more free to talk about their emotions. The group does not provide professional support but allows parents to work through their grief by talking to others who are feeling the same things.
“We don’t have all the answers,” said Mary Rose. “But by talking, people help themselves.”
“It’s hard to go, but it’s also relaxing to go because you’re helping other people,” said Cecil, adding that the Evansville support group helped him work through his angry feelings after the death of his son.
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