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July 18, 2013

Mom doesn't want to see good money go to bad credit

DEAR ABBY: We have a grown son who is married with his own family and home. He and his wife have jobs. My husband and I are semiretired — not rich, but we live comfortably. Our credit score is great.

My son wants us to co-sign a loan for him. I know his credit is not good because I get phone calls from collection agents looking for him. We — really don’t want to co-sign. How do I explain this to him? I feel that because I’m his mother it obligates me. I am also afraid he will stop letting us see the grandkids if I refuse. — SCARED OF THE DOTTED LINE

DEAR SCARED: Since debt collectors are calling because your son isn’t paying his bills, do not co-sign for a loan for him! If you do, you could wind up having to pay it off yourselves.

Your son is an adult. That you are his mother does not obligate you to assume responsibility in case he doesn’t pay his bills. If he retaliates by not allowing you to see the grandkids, so be it. If you knuckle under to emotional blackmail, it won’t stop, and it could affect your standard of living for the rest of your lives.

DEAR ABBY: I’m in high school and my daddy just passed away. I want to know why I have so much anger and hurt about this. I feel like he never got to see me reach any of my goals in life. The main goal was to see my graduation.

What is the best way I can get my mind off this? — YOUNG GIRL IN ALABAMA

DEAR YOUNG GIRL: I am sorry for your loss, which is a particularly difficult one at your age.

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