Anniversary story was difficult for reporter dealing with his own grief

By Nate Smith

April 04, 2008 10:13 pm

The past two weeks have been the hardest two weeks in my career as a journalist.
Writing about the 10-year anniversary of the April Fool’s Day shooting spree has been one of the most difficult assignments I have ever completed. The stories were published Tuesday and Wednesday, and I am glad they were over.
Because, unlike any type of story I have written, the effects spread over a lot of people in a short amount of time, in just one day when Chalk Wessell and Steven Hale went on a meth-induced shooting spree.
And, with the following court proceedings in Illinois and Indiana over the two following years, the families of Jeremiah Miller, Marlin Knepp, Pam Cook, Larry Sams, David Chalcraft and Wessell and Hale could not find real peace.
Then, eight years after that when the publicity has died and all everyone is left with is memories, I brought it back up again.
That was the hardest part about writing these stories. Should I reopen those wounds that so many people have been trying to close for 10 years? Those wounds, while hard to close, must bring back a flood of memories.
And I am not a psychologist, nor am I a person who is trying to move on from this type of horror. I cannot begin to understand or feel what they have gone through.
This shooting was a real-life Greek tragedy. Everyone lost and everyone hurts.
A caller, the only one who called me who did not like the story, asked me why I had to write about it.
One, it was a story that had to be told, and any writer would see that, but I think there is another reason that stands out:
This is what drugs, especially meth, can do. As everyone I interviewed about this has said about meth, it destroys families. The shootings are probably the most extreme example, but any drug, from meth to abusing pharmaceuticals, brings nothing but pain to those around the familes of a drug abuser.
I know that pain.
Wednesday, my brother Matt Smith would have been 28 years old. He died, suddenly, almost three years ago this coming July. He had problems with addiction, like many others in our community, but was on his way out of the addiction caused by pain from a spinal condition.
The addiction got him in the end.
Even though it’s been almost three years, it is still hard to get over the fact that he was not at my wedding or that he missed the birth of my son. I miss him terribly.
I like to believe Matt is sitting up there in heaven with the passed on members of my family reading those two stories and know that he is proud of the work his big brother has done.
Chalka Heuser, sister to Chalk Wessell and someone I admire for her bravery in speaking about the impact of the shootings, said if the story of the shootings helps one person who is using drugs, it would help the whole community.
I think everyone involved should get behind that statement.
If you are using drugs or drinking too much alcohol and reading this, there is help. There are programs right here in Daviess County that can help you recover from your addiction. I’ve seen it done, and you can do it.
If you are a family member of someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, there are groups and programs to help, no matter if that relative is sober or a user. Healing can happen.
All of these groups are listed in today’s edition.
Please help yourself before there is nothing left to help.
nsmith@washtimesherald.com

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