Joplin — In retrospect, it probably was my fault.
In retrospect, I probably should have paid closer attention to what my wife said. Had I been paying attention, I’m pretty sure I would have asked myself why in the world my wife wanted to go to Kauffman Stadium to see Alvin and the Chipmunks.
I’m also pretty sure that had I been paying attention, I would have asked myself why Emma and four of her friends from dance also wanted to see Alvin and the Chipmunks at Kauffman Stadium. And, I’m pretty sure that had I been paying attention, I would have asked myself why Alvin and the Chipmunks would be at Kauffman Stadium in November.
As it turns out, my wife and Emma and her four friends from dance didn’t want to see Alvin and the Chipmunks at Kauffman Stadium. They wanted to see the Alvin Ailey Dancers at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts.
In retrospect, that makes more sense than them wanting to see Alvin and the Chipmunks at Kauffman Stadium.
My wife’s plan was for me to drive Emma and her friends in one car to Kansas City while my wife drove another car loaded with the supplies for Emma and her friends. I don’t know if you know much about teenage girls, but apparently when they go to Kansas City for the weekend, they don’t just pack a “quick change of clothes.” What they pack are supplies.
Lewis and Clark packed less when they headed west than Emma and her friends packed to go to Kansas City for the weekend.
To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to the weekend. First of all, I had to drive a car with five teenage girls. Have you ever driven a car full of five teenage girls? Don’t.
I joke. Actually, driving a car full of teenage girls wasn’t so bad. They pretty much ignored me, listened to music and talked. I pretty much ignored them, listened to Jimmy Buffett’s radio station and didn’t talk.
It was one of those win-win situations.
When we got to where we were staying, my wife and the girls went in to “freshen up” before lunch. Two hours later, we sat down for lunch. Apparently, it takes a while for teenage girls to “freshen up.” At lunch, we arranged for the girls to sit at a table by themselves so my wife and I could sit by ourselves.
Hey, don’t judge us until you take five teenage girls to Kansas City for the weekend.
After lunch, we drove to the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts. I have to tell you that the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts is nothing like Kauffman Stadium. For one thing, there is far less chewing tobacco at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts.
I didn’t know that much about the Alvin Ailey Dancers. I had heard of the dance group, of course. But since I don’t know much about dance, I didn’t know much about the dance group. I figured I would be bored, but I also figured a little culture wouldn’t kill me.
I made it through the first half of the dance performance.
During the second half, the dancers performed Alvin Ailey’s ballet “Revelations.” I need to emphasize that when it comes to dance stuff, I’m a moron. But I defy anyone to watch the Alvin Ailey Dancers perform “Revelations” and not be moved. It was amazing. Don’t tell my wife, Emma and her friends this, but I really liked the performance, and I was a little disappointed when it was over.
I mean, I like Alvin and the Chipmunks, but I’m glad I saw the Alvin Ailey Dancers instead.
Mike Pound is a columnist for CNHI News Service. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.