PARENTAL ADVISORY So I was outside the stadium at the NFL Experience (“The Official NFL Experience of the Super Bowl”) which is where you, the Ordinary Fan, can experience what it’s like to be a real NFL player by throwing a football, kicking a football, breaking Joe Theismann’s leg like a pretzel, etc. There were many kids in Colts and Bears jerseys running around, and it was all very wholesome, except for the music blasting over the PA system, which was a woman proudly singing:....more>>
Put down your drink and listen up, South Florida, because it's time to talk Super Bowl security. It is a known fact that the Super Bowl is a major target for terrorism.
NEW YORK (AP) — Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is already the NFL’s most prolific pitchman, but marketing experts say a Super Bowl win could catapult him to a level few gridiron stars have ever achieved.
INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — The NFL has nixed a church’s plans to use a wall projector to show the Colts-Bears Super Bowl game, saying it would violate copyright laws.
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — The mere thought of trying to corral Devin Hester kept Indianapolis’ special teams coach wide awake last week. Russ Purnell isn’t getting much rest in South Florida, either.
Put down your drink and listen up, South Florida, because it's time to talk Super Bowl security. It is a known fact that the Super Bowl is a major target for terrorism. The terrorists HATE the Super Bowl, because (a) it is a symbol of corrupt Western decadence, and (b) the terrorists lost a giant bet in 2004 when the Patriots failed to cover the spread.
Tuesday was Super Bowl Media Day at Originally Joe Robbie Stadium. Media Day is when the players for the Super Bowl teams get interviewed into a stupor by several thousand members of the press corps. Each team gets interviewed for 60 minutes, which is approximately 58 minutes longer than necessary, because the players all make pretty much the same three points over and over and over: Point 1: They are happy to be in the Super Bowl. Point 2: They want to win the Super Bowl. Point 3: They would rather have their prostate glands examined by an irate scorpion than sit through Media Day. They don't actually express Point 3 out loud, but you can tell they are thinking it, especially when they're being interviewed by a hand puppet. There were actually two hand puppets at Media Day, both operated by a guy from a Mexican TV station. (The Super Bowl is big in Mexico, where it is called "The Super Bowl.") The hand puppets were supposed to represent a bear and a colt, but in fact they both looked more like mutant fur-bearing frogs from space. The Mexican TV guy was thrusting these things into the faces of professional football linemen the size of convenience stores and asking them questions. Then, pretty much regardless of the answer, the hand puppet would go, "AY AY AY!"
It's here, South Florida — Super Bowl Roman Numeral 41, the biggest sporting event in the world, unless you include other parts of the world. Tens of thousands of visitors are coming to South Florida for the big game, and we hope they all enjoy - to quote our new tourism slogan - "Hospitality, But Without The Hospital."
Welcome to Miami, Super Bowl visitors! You are going to have a wonderful time, from the moment you arrive in our magical city, until the moment you discover that your wallet is missing.
